Here we are people, The Final Four! Despite diverse theories about who should and shouldn’t be here, the choices are pretty expected (apart from Diana Rouvas.) I’ll spare you the 10 minute introduction that we were forced to endure last night (because six weeks is such a long time, we really needed the reminder of what has happened.)
Sarah De Bono – If I Didn’t Love You
I think part of the reason I want Sarah to win so much is that I genuinely believe her career would be the biggest of the four post show. Sure, Karise might have a better voice but Sarah has the whole package in the bag, whereas Karise just is a bag lady. Sarah is the cat’s pyjamas, Karise is just a crazy cat lady.
The performance was kind of disappointing to be honest. All the right elements were there but it fell flat, as did her high notes. Sarah needed an epic performance to beat Karise and this was definitely not it. Also no more wind machines please. It was demonic.
Karise Eden – I Was Your Girl
Karise‘s voice is something else. It is actually startling to think that she has this effect from singing a song that nobody has heard before. The bluesy ballad was about as exciting as a stationary order from Officeworks and she was clearly wearing some sort of technicolour muumuu, but nothing could distract from her sensational voice. At this point, she’s taking the title.
Rachael Leahcar – Smile
Delta is quite clever. She hasn’t stepped away from the formula once with Rachael, picking one conventional ballad after another. I think she did about as well as one could with that song, but the performance left me cold…Cold like Delta’s icy heart. Someone should tell host Darren that the standing ovation was probably due to her stopping singing. Also saying, “I couldn’t stop watching the videos” to a blind girl feels a bit awkward. It’s the blind auditions all over again people.
Darren Percival – Damage Down
Darren Percival is about as charismatic as head lice, but unlike head lice, there is no treatment for the unbearable banality of that song. There are actual blood and claw marks on my laptop keys due to having to listen to that. Darren actually has decent chops but a song like that reminds us that in six months he’ll be performing at weddings…as a waiter.
Two thoughts about the Lionel Richie interim.
1. Lionel Richie’s vocals were OUT OF CONTROL good.
2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Fuzzy is hopeless. She’s about as emotive and personable as…
Sarah De Bono – Beautiful
Much better. Sarah’s new track was easily the best of the four. She won’t win this thing, but she deserves to come second. She will most likely have a Ricki-Lee similar career, mainly about longevity than big this. But what was with the pink and purple make up job, mixed with her red hair? She looked like a prostitute sponsored by Starburst.
Karise Eden – Stay with Me Baby
OMFG. It is 100% Karise’s. It made sense she was dressed as an Academy Award, given she just won Best Female in this competition. That was the best rendition over the course of the show and someone finally give Diana Rouvas’ “Love on Top” a run for its money. Karise has proven herself to be the Australian Adele.
Rachael Leahcar – Shooting Star
Anything called “Shooting Star”, written by a blind girl, about Delta Goodrem, was always going to be as cheesy as the entire Coon factory. A certain source, who shall remain nameless so he doesn’t receive hate crime mail said, “It should have been called ‘Don’t Stare At The Solar Eclipse’”. Rachael has done very well to get this far and I would say her position as Team Delta candidate is 100% justified, but if she wins this, I’m changing my name to Edward Drawde for the impending palindrome epidemic.
Darren Percival - For Once In My Life
Stevie Wonder? The only wonder is how the authorities haven’t found the bodies of all those women under Darren’s basement. You know you’re talented when the fans tweet about your performance, “Doesn’t Darren look great with his new haircut?” Christ. Some friends of mine and I gradually came to the conclusion that Darren Percival looks like a Madame Tessaude’s wax museum if someone left the heater on overnight.
The results are on tonight at 7:30pm! Can’t wait to see Karise who wins!