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There was an article published this morning in The Age about how social media is going to massively affect, if not ultimately determine, the result of The Voice Australia.

In essence, the article claims that through having the most followers (over 600,000), plus famous spouse Nicole Richie (three million) and an army of celebrities with countless more fans, Team Joel is going to celebrate a popularity victory with Sarah De Bono. Despite this, Team Seal’s Karise Eden is still the bookies favourite to win. So who’s going to take it home?

Rachael Leahcar (Team Delta)

Why:  There’s the obvious backstory – just imagine if a blind girl won The Voice Australia? More importantly, Rachael has managed to justify her position in the Final Four, even beating out Delta’s fedora-wearing backup dancer. Sorry Glenn, we position of baby boomer finalist has been filled by Darren. Back to Rachael, while she hasn’t improved as much as other finalists, her audition of “La Vie En Rose” is to this day, one of the best performances in the competition.

Why Not: It’s now painfully obvious that she’s the weakest singer of the Final Four.  While her audition may have been one of the most memorable, she hasn’t shown much improvement over the course of the competition. Even though Faustina couldn’t get a decent interview out of Malcolm X, it seems young Rachael doesn’t have the personality to handle the media. Then again, neither does Delta.

Best Performance: Edith Piaf – “La Vie En Rose”
Final Position:
4th.

Darren Percival (Team Keith)

Why: The guy can obviously sing and the public vote for him consistently. In fact, unless Sarah De Bono pulls off something magical, this looks like a Karise VS Darren showdown. He’s even managed to survive boring choice (“I Believe”) after boring choice (“Wherever I Lay My Hat”) after boring choice (“Shower The People”) after boring choice (“A Song For You”). Keith Urban may be good at holding Nicole’s purse but he’s shit at picking songs.

Why Not: I could construct an actual thesis on why Diana Rouvas should be standing there. This should have been an all-girl final and I’ll take it one further and say Diana was possibly the strongest in the competition. So let’s say Darren wins this thing. How many people are going to go out and by a debut album by a 40-something man. Lock up your daughters people….literally.

Best Performance: Stevie Wonder –I Believe”
Final Position:
3rd

Darren Percival Sings I Believe

Sarah De Bono (Team Joel)

Why: This chick is a quadruple threat. She is a bloody talented singer, unintimidating to teenage girls, interview ready and she gives guys De Boners. Her blistering performances include “Listen” and “How Will I Know” but there’s not a shred of arrogance behind it. The social media trend will influence the voting (how much is to be determined) and if she can do her best performance at the finale, it’s in the bag for her.

Why Not: De Bono has a tendency to go under the radar. I can’t even remember her audition of “Price Tag” and “Here’s Where I Stand” was semi-underwhelming. Though voting has swayed in her favour previously, teenage girls HATE seeing pretty young females do well, but love seeing pretty young males do well (which is why Lakyn sang like an orca whale after getting harpooned, and lasted so long.)

Best Performance: Beyonce – “Listen” (but her Whitney came close!)
Final Position: 2nd

Karise Eden (Team Seal)

Why: Karise Eden has reliably nailed it, week after week.  The public seem to go berserk for her with both voting and song purchases and she looks set to have the kind of post-reality show career that doesn’t make people want to self-mutilate. From her audition of “It’s a Man’s Man’s World” to her “Hallelujah” emotional extravaganza, she’s become a likeable, marketable, Aussie chick next door – almost a sure thing.

Why Not: It’s hard to fault her. Last week she was dressed like The Corpse Bride and people were too busy loving her performance. Speaking of, the only thing you can be surer of than someone singing “Hallelujah” on a reality TV show is that Channel Nine are looking for replacement hosts and social media correspondents.

Best Performance: James Brown -“It’s a Man’s Man’s World” (a million views and counting!)
Final Position: Winner

So what do you think then?

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For those of you who missed last week, here’s what happened:

The Voice Australia: Live Show Final, Part 4!

And here are the results!

Top 8: Team Joel

The public choose: Sarah De Bono!

Joel picks: Ben Hazelwood!

Great to see that the public (teens) are voting with their ears, not their pink bits – another win from the voting being done by iTunes downloads. Sarah up to this point has been the standout of the whole competition. No matter which way the public vote swayed, she was going through tonight. Ben and Prinnie both had a great chance, but Ben has been more consistent. More importantly, we FINALLY said goodbye to Lakyn! Let’s all take a sip of the cool aid and forget this horrible, horrible experience ever happened.

Top 8: Team Keith

The public save: Darren Percival.

Keith keeps: Diana Rouvas!

Keith was obviously going to pick Diana Rouvas and the public Darren Percival. The same crystal ball predicts that Faustina will go her entire life without asking an interesting question to anyone, ever. Great to see that there’s only one fuck up in the entire Top Eight – Glenn Cunningham.

Fatai V – On The Radio

Who the fuck is this girl to pull that off at 16 years old? When I was 16, I had barely earned my pen licence, and she performs like that on national television? It did feel a bit weird hearing someone sing Donna Summer that was not even a foetus when she was last on radio. Will it be enough to save her? Backstage another graceful interview by Faustina, pictured below:



Glenn CunninghamHeaven

I thought Glenn’s performance wasn’t actually that bad, but the idea of that man wearing a fedora and Heaven couldn’t be further from each other. Yes, Glenn has talent, but why has it taken umpteen weeks to find that out?

Sarah De Bono – Here’s Where I Stand

This is from a movie musical I have watched at least a dozen times, called Camp. After re-reading that sentence again, I think I just figured where I stand, as bloody camp myself! Sarah did her thing, which was the performance of the night until you-know-who comes up next.

Did anyone see that ad for “the lucky contestant” who was off to Kenya after Sarah’s performance? I’m sorry, but that reminded me of the movie The Island, where lucky punters are “off for a holiday” aka harvesting their organs for celebrities. Maybe Delta eats tween flesh to stay young?

Diana Rouvas – Stormy Monday Blues

I will throw it out there that her performance is the best of any Australian reality TV show in history. In god knows how many seasons of Idol and three seasons of X-Factor, this is it. Please watch below!

Diana Rouvas: Stormy Monday Blues

Rachael Leahcar – Nights in White Satin

A blind girl singing for her dead grandmother in a foreign language. I’ll leave that alone but obviously Delta‘s gonna eat that shit up like Fruit Loops. I’m going to have to continue to defend Rachael. I think she cops a lot of shit for a multitude of reasons. People call her pseudo-blind, Delta 2.0 and worse, but the girl can “sang” as Seal so horrifyingly calls it.

Ben Hazlewood – My Kind of Love

I kind of don’t get the music choices tonight. Fatai, Glenn, Diana and Rachael sings tracks as old as the craters in Seal’s face, Sarah De Bono sings a song from a little known musical and Ben tackles Emeli Sande, who while big in the UK, is about as popular in Australia as Lindy Chamberlain. I would still do things to Ben that would make his mother scream, “A ranga’s got my baby!”

Darren Percival – A Song For You

Darren is undoubtedly talented, I can HEAR him sing. But something really irks me about him. It could be that he looks like the sort of man who you’d have to alert authorities about if he lived too close to an all-girls school, it could be the dancing that makes gingivitis look sexy but it’s probably more likely that i don’t want him in the final four over Diana.

Karise Eden – Hallelujah

Having seen infinite versions of this song on reality TV syndications, my groans could be heard Australia wide before it started. Fortunately, Karise absolutely nailed that performance. Her growly vocals are incredible. I just wish her stylist rethought that outfit – It was a bit The Woman In Black. Speaking of outfits, Seal should be ashamed of himself. There’s only one excuse for wearing a turtle neck – it’s 1991. And no, your last hit being in 1991 doesn’t count. Anyway, here’s Karise’s bone chilling win.

Karise Eden – Hallelujah

Back to MORE results, the Final Four are about to be announced! Before that, it needs to be said that the eight tonight showed more talent than any other season of singing comps. All eight were, at the worst, pretty darn good. At their best, Diana and Karise, were astonishing.

Team Delta: Rachael Leahcar VS Glenn Cunningham.

Winner: Rachael Leahcar.

Who Should Have: Rachael.

Team Joel: Ben Hazlewood VS Sarah De Bono.

Winner: Sarah De Bono.

Who Should Have: Close call, but Sarah.

Team Keith: Darren Percival VS Diana Rouvas

Winner: Darren Percival

Who Should Have: Diana Rouvas. He was picked because Darren has been more popular with votes and Keith wants to win.

Team Seal: Karise Eden VS Fatai V.

Winner: Karise Eden.

Who Should Have: Karise Eden. In saying that, Fatai could have beaten Rachael and possibly Sarah and Darren.

Poor Fatai, getting kicked off is one thing, but having to have conversation with Faustina? She looked enthralled.


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It’s starting to get pretty exciting. The prospect of a Top Eight potentially means eight great singers and no filler. For those who missed last week’s performances, here’s a recap:

The Voice Australia: Live Show Final, Part 3!

And here are the results!

Top 8: Team Delta

The public choose Rachael Leahcar. She was the best of Team Delta and realistically the only potential to win from this group. 100% for the Top Four.

Delta had a difficult choice with the remaining three. Viktoria Bolonina is the most exciting act but butchered Nirvana last week. Danni Da Ros has had moments of brilliance but doesn’t have anything remarkable about her and although he was brilliant last week, Glenn Cunningham is unmemorable. Then again, Viktoria and Danni didn’t used to be back up dancers for Delta. SHAM.

Top 8: Team Seal

The public save Karise Eden. She wasn’t at peak performance last week but after so many solid ones in the past, it was easy to see why she went through.

Seal’s decision was a no brainer, but that didn’t stop him talking for approximately a thousand years. Fatai’s performance last week was the best of the whole series!

Now, to the bitching…I mean singing!

Prinnie Stevens – Forever

I have to hand it to Prinnie. She’s 31 years old, managed to don every regrettable fashion trend of the last thirty years and dance like a meth addict protecting her stash (what was with all the shoving?!) and she STILL managed to slightly rock it! The vocals didn’t break new ground but showed the most control she’s had thus far. Well chosen, Joel.

Diana Rouvas – I Can’t Make You Love Me

I don’t understand why reality show contestants keep singing this song (their choice or not). Even though Diana‘s vocals are absolutely flawless, that song is so boring it could replace chloroform and roofie caladas as the number one choice for rapists on their victims. I think Diana has been sabotaged and will not be in the Top Four. Shame, but you’d need a Ouija board to connect with personality of that song.

Lakyn Heperi – Friday I’m In Love

I’ve called Lakyn everything from Sean Penn in I Am Sam, to Timmy from South Park, to singing “99 Bottles” on the special bus, but credit where credit’s due (and i mean to Joel), he managed to pick a song that Lakyn didn’t massacre tonight. I still want him to win about as much as I want a hand job from Edward Scissorhands, but at least if that’s the last time I have to hear him – it wasn’t too bad. Joel seems to be the Voice of reason in this show, so maybe he can tell the executives that Fuzzy has as much personality as a shoe horn and to get rid of her.

Brittany Cairns – Straight Lines

I kind of don’t get the Brittany thing. If you ask me, the only Straight Line in her career is to head to Centrelink after the voting next week.

Adam Martin – Romeo & Juliet

Adam nailed Lonely Boy last week and continues his hot streak yet again. I get the impression that he isn’t impersonating anyone, which is so refreshing on a show like this. He’s basically everything that Lakyn wants to be and isn’t. It takes a lot of balls to sing Romeo & Juliet on national television.

Sarah De Bono – How Will I Know

SHE NEEDS TO WIN THIS COMPETITION.

Watch Sarah De Bono – How Will I Know.

Darren Percival – I Believe

Darren’s voice is exceptional, there’s no doubt about it. While watching him did kind of remind me of a drunk uncle singing at a wedding, it’s hard to fault the guy. WHAT was going on with the “dancing” on display by the judges? Reminded me of something…

Ben Hazlewood – I’m With You

Ben Hazlewood absolutely nailed it last week with Lego House and let’s face it, the bloke is beyond good looking. Despite the back story of his brother’s depression, Ben fell pretty flat last week. He didn’t seem very upset about it when he got home though…not that I would know.

Next week…The FINAL EIGHT!

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For those who missed last week’s performances, here’s a recap:

http://thepopportunity.com/2012/05/22/the-voice-australia-live-performences-2/

And here are the results!

Top 16: Team Keith.

The Public chose Darren Percival and Brittany Cairns, which kind of baffled me. Diana Rouvas’ performance was the best of the entire competition. Luckily, she was always going to be saved. Darren and Brittany both show signs of talent, but even Rock Eisteddfod does occasionally.

Keith stepped in to make the two decisions that the public should have. Diana Rouvas and Adam Martin were best on ground last week – thank god for the judge’s vote.

Top 16: Team Joel.

The public redeem themselves with Sarah De Bono before cocking everything up with Lakyn Hepari. Attention teenage girls, the only song that Lakyn should be singing public is “99 bottles of beer” when he heads back to camp on the special bus.

Joel makes the obvious decision in Ben Hazlewood and Prinnie Stevens. The reality now is that there are eight great singers left and eight shit ones.

Tonight, Delta and Seal‘s Top 4 perform.

Chris Sebastian – I Can’t Stand The Rain

Great of Chris to finally turn up to the competition. Admittedly, his performance was pretty special but after surviving multiple rounds that he shouldn’t have, he’s going to have to do a lot more to get Australia on side.

Verdict: Go

Danni Di Ros – When Love Takes Over

If anyone was going to take this song on, it was Danni. What a set of pipes she has! The performance was so blistering,  I barely noticed that she was about as sexy as an howler monkey.

Verdict: Stay

Emma-Louise Birdsall – The Look of Love

WHAT was Seal thinking? Emma has proven her vocal dexterity and he gives her a song that’s so boring, it made Tina Arena sound like Metallica. Seal described it as a “Song of vulnerability,” which is perfect, given that she’s vulnerable of being voted off next week. Does anyone else think she looks like the mother in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory?!

Verdict: Go

Viktoria Bololnina – Smells Like Teen Spirit

Poor Viktoria. Smells like teen burning flesh really, because Delta publicly trialled Viktoria like it was The Crucible. Watching a credible performer reduced to sounding like Eurovision-trash was humiliating for all involved. Here’s a pic of Delta after choosing Nirvana.

Verdict: Go

Team Seal gather to sing Kiss From A Rose on The Grave of Seal’s career. It’s exactly what you’d expect – a giant waste of time that keeps the show at two hours. Because none of us have social lives…or jobs…or sleep needs.

Glenn Cunningham – Closer

A huge improvement on last week, it went to show that Delta chooses a lot better when she’s not trying to be cool with the kids. But please, do us a favour – don’t try to turn him into a sex symbol. Then again, Seal is considered a sex symbol and his face looks like the Germans tested chemical weapons on it.

Verdit: Go

Fatai V – Ave Maria

Holy shit. For 16 years old, Fatai has some banging vocals. Obviously the highlight of the night and one of the whole season. I must say, I’m sick of fucking Seal freakily manhandling his contestants like the Boogieman. I haven’t seen a gatekeeper this aggressive since Joseph Fritzl.

Verdict: Stay (Best on ground!)
Fatai V – Ave Maria

Rachael Leahcar – Someone To Watch Over Me

A cynical friend of mine last week told me he’s convinced that she’s not actually blind. After about five minutes of arguing like it was some fucked up episode of Law & Disorder or Boston Legal-ly Blind, he ended up admitting that it was irrelevant. We agreed she is terrific – another gorgeous vocal.

Verdict: Stay

Karise Eden – Landslide

It wasn’t her best performance to date, but it was still in the top four of the evening. I think the general public need more big notes to vote, but I will hopefully be proven wrong.

A perfect end to the show: If you ever needed a song that summarised Delta‘s choice of Nirvana – it’s Born To Try. Same time next week kids – peace out!

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So now Carmengate has come and gone, the show must go on. Just ask one of her friendly competitors who explains, “She’s here with us tonight,” like she’s dead. Usually when people say that, they don’t look so ecstatically happy!  For those who missed last week’s performances, here’s a recap:

http://thepopportunity.com/2012/05/15/the-voice-australia-live-show-final-part-1/

And here are the results!

Top 16: Team Seal.

The Public votes went to Emma Louise Birdsall & Karise Eden.  Well done Australia, the two best on ground were chosen. Perhaps making people actually BUY the music means that pretty boys won’t go through anymore?!

Seal’s votes went to Fatai V & Chris Sebastian. Fatai was a commendable choice but Chris?! So, when is the show going to be renamed “The Person Who Best Deals with the Press”?!

Top 16: Team Delta.

The public rightly chose Viktoria Bolonina, given her astonishing rendition of Bang Bang last week. Rachael Leahcar was another solid choice. The public absolutely nailed it.

Delta then immediately fucks everything up by choosing Glenn Cunningham. Maybe Keith wasn’t crying happy tears during last week’s performance, Delta. Maybe those were ear-rape tears? Delta then redeemed herself with Danni Da Ros. The consequences of choosing the geriatric or One Directionite would have ended in bloodshed.

Now, to the next eleven performers.

Darren Percival – Paul Young

“Fantastic song choice”? If you haven’t turned on the radio since 1982, maybe. Darren Percival has an amazing voice, but if Keith Urban keeps picking songs like this, Darren will be back to being Quentin Tarantino’s body double in no time!

Verdict: Stay (only for the voice.)

Prinnie Stevens – Turn Me On

Prinnie was relatively unchallenged in the R&B department (hello Diana Rouvas) and while the track had faulty moments, she did enough to secure either a public or judge’s vote to get through. They say Prinnie Stevens is the Aussie Beyonce, so here’s Prinnie below after seeing Diana Rouvas’ take on Beyonce’s Love On Top later in the evening (I’m guessing that phone call is voting for herself?)

Verdict: Stay (but only because 8 stay)

Adam Martin – Lonely Boy

Kudos for tackling The Black Keys, an almost untouchable band, given their reputation as live performers. I have no recollection of Adam Martin before this performance, but he has propelled himself into one of the best in the whole competition.

Verdict: Stay

Sarah De Bono -  Listen

Holy shit!!! Best performance of the entire season and precisely why the show is on. I’m already dying my hair fire-engine red. Best on ground. The video hasn’t surfaced yet on YouTube but PLEASE watch below!

Check out this great MSN video – The Voice : Sarah De Bono Sings Listen.

Verdict: Please win the whole series.

Jimmy Cupples – Sweet Child Of Mine

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something very unlikeable about Jimmy. Sure, he’s a talented singer and he did Guns N Roses justice, but the dude doesn’t make me feel anything. I think a sweet child of his would look something like this…


Verdict: Go

Ben Hazlewood – Lego House

Between his good looks and gifted vocal abilities, Ben Hazlewood is more like Ben Ladywood, which every girl in Australia is experiencing right now. There are things that I would do to Ben Hazlewood, that would involve The Voice of a Jury incarcerating me for a very long time. Below is my perfectly normal reaction to seeing him on stage. 3rd best on ground.

Verdict: Take your top off…I mean stay!

Taga Paa – Fight For You

What. Was. That? If Jason DeRulo’s re-working of Toto’s Africa wasn’t painful enough, watching Jonah’s friends from Summer Heights High completely upstage Taga was demoralising on every level.

Verdict: Go

Laura Bunting – Somebody That I Used To Know

Considering she shouldn’t even be here today, taking on the world’s biggest song of the last year is extremely gutsy/stupid. While Laura attempted a Kimbra-esque solo version, it just didn’t work. Some songs should be left to the originals and now she’s just somebody that we used to have to listen to.

Verdict: Go

Diana Rouvas – Love On Top

Diana is another performer I don’t really remember, but she absolutely NAILED Love on Top. It was fearless, effortless and thankfully, not a Beyonce knock off – it was genuinely unique. A VERY CLOSE 2nd best on ground.  Unfortunately, the video isn’t up on youtube – the link is below.

Check out this great MSN video – The Voice : Diana Rouvas Sings Love On Top.

Verdict: Stay!

Lakyn Heperi – Forever Young

Lakyn does absolutely nothing for me. NOTHING. I find him boring, without stage presence and has a vocal slur that sounds like Sean Penn’s closing speech in I Am Sam. His pretty looks cannot distract his blatant lack of talent.

Verdict: Piss off.

Brittany Cairns – Different Worlds

Oh, is the show still going?

Verdict: Go

After the public votes of last week selected the best four, if Adam, Diana, Sarah and Ben get chosen tonight, then the other eight put through by the judges are just buffers. You can tell from the progression from Top 24 – 16 that the producers didn’t trust the public to make the best decisions (hence the judge’s saves), which might just now go to waste. We’ll find out next week.

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The first and most immediate point to discuss is the appearance of Fuzzy as the social media commentator, or whatever the fuck name they gave her job, which is completely unnecessary. I was really hoping Australia wouldn’t follow the Americans. Not only have they but even worse, they’ve chosen Fuzzy. For years on Video Hits I witnessed awkward interviews with musicians, with generally rough and jagged hosting. I’m sure the girl is very smart and focused, but even Mickey Rourke would do a better job.

Another equally disappointing discovery was that Lakyn‘s cover of Big Jet Plane has officially charted higher than original by Angus & Julia Stone. A dark day for credibility. Well done, everyone.

Fatai V – Empire State of Mind

Dear Fatai, thanks for dropping your surname. Signed, spellchecker.

The chick clearly has talent, particularly for 16 years old. While the performance had faults, it was almost definitely enough to keep her in the competition. She already has a fan base, as her cover of Love The Way You Lie is the second highest charting Voice performance so far.

Verdict: Stay.

Matt Hetherington – White Noise

Matt – as much as I love the lad – is no doubt talented. However the man is way too theatrical. I swear I saw jazz hands appear a few times! Not sure that White Noise was the best song, given that you are trying to appeal to teenage girls who vote and buy. When you’re 41, you already have a handicap in that department.

Verdict: Go.

Karise Eden – Nothing’s Real But Love

I lost my shit when I heard that my favourite contestant was singing my favourite new singer, Rebecca Ferguson. As much as I wanted it to be amazing, I was also ready to draw blood if it wasn’t. Karise NAILED it and actually sounded like Rebecca herself. Best on ground.

Verdict: Stay.

Ben Bennett – One Thing

Wow, a tween singing a tween song. Well done Delta. There’s only One Direction I want Ben Bennett to go, and it’s home. Unfortunately I think teenage girls will keep him around because he’s like a One Direction Inception…A tween within a tween within a tween!

Verdict: Go (please!)

Michael Duschene – Got To Get You Into My Life

Michael gave another quality performance and the guy is extremely likeable. He does, as Joel said, have an old quality. While American Idol is inundated with these, we don’t really have it here, ,making him a bit more exciting than most.

Verdict: Stay.

Danni Da Ros – Alone

I really wanted Danni to be shit, as I was devastated she apparently outwitted, outlasted and outplayed™ Sarah. On top of that, Danni was tackling one of my favourite song’s ever, Heart’s Alone. A tough track, but she nailed it. The last note particularly, was incredible. Second best on ground.

Verdict: Stay

Sam Ludeman – Summer Paradise

I actually have no idea what this song is but figure Jason Mraz has to have something to do with it.Sam started off shaky as shit, but eventually pulled it somewhat ogether. I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I actually agree with Seal. I find Sam untrustworthy and smarmy. I also reckon he should have sung something more famous like Ed Shearan’s The A-Team. I also still think Sam Ludeman’s idea of paradise is a sausage fest.

Verdict: Go.

Viktoria Boronina -Bang Bang
Viktoria has won me over every single time. To me, she is actually the happy medium between what is now and something a bit different – kind of like Lana Del Rey meets Kate Bush. Third best on ground.

Verdict: Stay.

Chris Sebastian – Without You

When Chris Sebastian is on form, he sounds exactly like Usher. When Chris Sebastian is off form, as he was in those awful choruses, he sounds constipated. I don’t know WHAT Keith was banging on about, the guy may have talent but has a shocking lower register. Here’s Chris below after reading what I had to say.

Verdict: Stay.

Glenn Cunningham – Heaven Knows

Heaven Knows how this song was ever a hit. I feel like I’m in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers, except instead of everyone else being aliens, everyone thinks shit performances are really good and I’m the only person left.

Verdict: Go (Now.)

Emma Louise-Birdsall – Never Loved A Man

Emma Louise-Birdsall is a gorgeous girl, with a soulful voice to boot. Mimicking Aretha was pointless, so in this respect Emma should be applauded. While the performance itself wasn’t brilliant, ti was probably enough to make an impression (and a connection.)

Verdict: Stay.

Rachael Leahcar – Hands

Poor Rachael Leahcar. Being born with such a disability would be difficult (and by that I mean having a palindrome name, the same forwards as backwards.) Rachael’s song provided stunning choruses, but it certainly wasn’t La Vie En Rose. If you ask me, she could have sung the Terms & Conditions on my Scoopon voucher and she’d be safe.

Verdict: Stay.

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Cheryl Cole – Hear My Name

Any way you look at it, Cheryl Cole’s last album was a disaster. In fact, it should have been called Hot Messy Little Raindrops.

While debut album 3 Words triumphed with current dance/pop anthems not too far removed from her Girls Aloud origins, Messy Little Raindrops was rushed, awkward and desperate.

For Cheryl’s third album in only as many years, A Million Lights, she’s come full circle and with the help of pop juggernaut Calvin Harris, has produced her catchiest track since Stand Up was never released.

While essentially a remodelling of Harris’ previous global pandemic We Found Love (Tulisa should also be named and shamed for doing the same),  Call My Name succeeds in Cheryl finally trying to sound MORE like Girls Aloud, rather than denying her roots. She’s also not trying to be Cheryl And The Machine, this is just unashamed and frivolous pop.

Call My Name isn’t immediate. You don’t realise its pop greatness the first, second, even third listen, but when it does it smashes you. Throw in a scorching hot video clip and you have the poppy club anthem of the British summer. A serious return to form. 3.5 stars.

Dia Frampton – Don’t Kick The Chair (feat. Kid Cudi)

Javier Colon may have had “The Voice” but Dia Frampton’s slightly off-centre, Feist-esque pop feel made the first season of The Voice US incredibly watchable. Renditions of Kanye West’s Heartless and R.E.M’s Losing My Religion showed potential for an artist, not just a performer.

Don’t Kick The Chair is light, breezy and full of chimey goodness – exactly what you’d want in an anti-suicide anthem! It’s also precisely what you’d expect from Frampton, being an easy transgression from the artiste she was on the show to the one she wants to become. Kid Cudi’s presence is as welcome as it is curious, with his genre-crossing talent being the highlight of the song.

While the chorus is catchy, the repetition means the life cycle on an ipod is a few weeks – tops. Nevertheless, it’s a worthy introduction to post-Voice Dia. 3 stars.

Mark Foster, A-Trak and Kimbra – Warrior

Part of Converse’s consistently amazing Three Artists, One Song campaign, Warrior brings together Mark Foster (Foster The People), A-Trak (Duck Sauce) and Kimbra for an 80s synthed ménage-a-trois. Sounding like some sort of sequel to Mark Ronson’s Bang Bang Bang, Warrior might just be the finest addition to the Converse campaign yet.

Between Kimbra’s sensational debut Vows, her scene stealing spot on Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know and her career peak of Miami Horror’s I Look To You, she can barely put a foot wrong. Ditto Mark Foster, for while this pushes the envelope on Foster The People’s sound, still h as his fingerprints all over it.

Belligerently appealing, the track has that kind of indie-electro feel that is heroin to hipsters. 4 stars.

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Now that we’ve been given a week to recover from the hot mess that was the Chris Sebastian‘s “Firework”, last night’s final battle rounds promised a lot…but again, under delivered.

The  talent was more consistent off stage than on last night, Ricki-Lee and Washington should have Seal and Keith‘s jobs next year. Seal is a pretentious wanker who thinks the show is called Seal Of Approval. Keith Urban’s relevance was questioned more than ever when he chose a country song for his contestants that was so out of place, even Chinese Opera would have sufficed in place.

He’s still doing better than Darren Hayes, who has made an art out of getting paid for standing around and flicking his hair dramatically.

So here we go….

Carmen Smith VS Michelle Serret-Cursio

Song: Rihanna – “We Found Love”

Quality: 9/10

Who Won: Carmen Smith

Who Should Have: Carmen Smith

Notes: Their performances were almost identical, but Michelle had pitch issues with the high notes. It was definitely Carmen’s by the end. As a combo they were one of the best so far, but the girls are fortunate that Rihanna’s live vocals sound like the doomsday siren. The victory was so exciting; Disney Pixar decided to make a movie about it!

Sam Ludeman VS Kieran Fraser

Song: Coldplay – Viva La Vida

Quality: 6/10

Who Won: Sam Ludeman

Who Should Have: Kieran Fraser

Notes: None of this interested me in the slightest. Kieran Fraser’s dancing was like watching Big Bird undergoing electroshock therapy but his vocals were stronger than Sam’s, who for the record is the campest man alive. No wonder Kieran Fraser ditched the tracksuit, that Straight Guy was Queer Eyed by Sam!

Kelsie Rimmer VS Brittany Cairns

Song: Adele – Turning Tables

Quality: 8.5/10

Who Won: Brittany Cairns

Who Should Have: 50/50

Notes: If you’re going to force them to sing Adele, could you at least pick an interesting song? Brittany had the high notes here while Kelsie had the artistry. It was one of the toughest decisions thus far. At least now I don’t have to type Rimmer anymore, consequently giggling like a 14 year old school girl.

Matt Hetherington VS Jerson Trinidad

Song: Stevie Wonder – Highest Ground

Quality: 7/10

Who Won: Matt Hetherington.

Who Should Have: Matt Hetherington

Notes: Terrible song choice, would have to be Stevie Wonder’s most boring song. While Jerson has had better moments with his audition, Matt had more stage presence. Neither were amazing, but this was largely to Delta’s appalling song choice.

Sarah De Bono VS Yianna Stavrou

Song: The Gossip – Heavy Cross

Quality: 7/10

Who Won: Sarah De Bono

Who Should Have: Sarah De Bono

Notes: Yianna’s dress wasn’t exactly a nun’s habit; I could see her uterus for half the performance. Sarah had way more control and better voice from the word go. There was no question here. At least Yianna was able to get a lift home (below.)

Darren Percival VS Brett Clarke

Song:  James Taylor – Shower The People

Quality: 7.5/10

Who Won: Darren Percival.

Who Should Have: Darren Percival.

Notes: I’m sorry Keith, this isn’t Nashville. No cheesy, badly written country song with lyrics my 11 year old niece could have bettered. As soon as Darren started, it was his. Seal’s claim that Brett should win was abhorrent.

Ben Bennett VS Jesse & Ashleigh

Song: Owl City – Fireflies

Quality: 6.5/10

Who Won: Ben Bennett

Who Should Have: Ben Bennett

Notes: It left me feeling very meh. Maybe it was the song, maybe it was the performances, maybe it’s because I don’t give a shit about squeaky clean tweens from Teen Scene Magazine? It was all just a bit….

Casey Withoos VS Emma Louise Birdsall

Song: Etta James – At Last

Quality: 8.5/10

Who Won: Emma Louise Birdsall

Who Should Have: Emma Louise Birdsall, just…

Notes: A very interesting result. While Emma Louise was TERRIBLE in the audition, Casey rocked my world with Regina Spektor’s “Samson” and she had extraordinary likeability. Casey struggled first half and while she wowed in the second half, Emma Louise already had this in the bag. But this is how you do it…

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It was a night of solid performances and shocking decisions. The battles were superior on night two, but there were two or three decisions that left me scratching my head…What did you think?

On the whole, you have to take into consideration that the people performing are the Top 48. It’s not like Australian Idol, where you have to wait until the Top 12 just for a few solid performances. There’s at least 10-15 great contenders already in the competition.

Taga Paa VS Cam Tapp

Song: Eric Clapton – Change The World

Quality: 8/10

Who Won:  Taga Paa

Who Should Have: Taga Paa

Notes: Kicked off with a great performance. Taga Paa showed huge range but huge nerves. Cam Tapp displayed a seasoned voice but lacked the heart of Taga.

Viktoria Bolonina VS Peta Jeffress

Song: Prince – Purple Rain

Quality: 7/10

Who Won: Viktoria Bolonina

Who Should Have: Very close, but Viktoria Bolonina.

Notes: Say what you want about Delta, she knows what she’s talking about. Viktoria’s strength and weakness both lay in her manic singing – she was passionate but flawed. Peta had the consistency but wasn’t as convincing.

Anthony Dellamarta VS Michael Duchesne

Song: Stevie Wonder – Living For The City

Quality: 8/10

Who Won: Michael Duchesne

Who Should Have: 50/50

Notes: Easily the closest match thus far. As Keith pointed out, it was splitting hairs. Neither have showed potential to win the contest but Duchesne showed improvement.

Nick Len VS Lakyn Heperi

Song: Angus & Julia Stone – Big Jet Plane

Quality: 7/10

Who Won: Lakyn Heperi

Who Should Have: Nick Len

Notes: “Teen heart throbs”, despite Nick being 21? Nick had the bigger battle; the song was geared more towards Lakyn’s voice than Nick’s. Lakyn’s performance was HIDEOUS. I’m not saying this because Nick is my friend, but Lakyn has a moan when he sings that sounds like he may belong on the special bus. You can see Lakyn below after his triumph.

Sarah Lloyde VS Danni Da Ros

Song: Mariah Carey – Hero

Quality: 9/10

Who Won: Danni Da Ros

Who Should Have: Sarah Lloyde

Notes: Gutsy bloody choice of song. Sarah Lloyde has already improved on low notes since audition. To be fair, they were both amazing. Danni had a soft quality but Sarah nailed those big notes. Fact: Sarah Lloyde was better. Fact: Danni Da Ros has been around since the invention of music and has never made it. Fact: I’m pissed off.

Glenn Whitehall VS Jimmy Cupples

Song: Birds Of Tokyo – Plans

Quality: 8/10

Who Won: Jimmy Cupples

Who Should Have: Jimmy Cupples

Notes: There was no faulting Jimmy Cupples tonight, he was almost perfect. Glenn did connect more with the audience but it’s still called The Voice, not The Connection.

Mali-Koa Hood VS Laura Bunting

Song: 4 Non Blondes – What’s Going On

Quality: 8/10

Who Won: Laura Bunting

Who Should Have: Mali-Koa Hood

Notes: While Laura had a much better audition (and did put up a fight), Mali-Koa nailed this from go to whoa. It is an absolute farce that Laura was picked.

Chris Sebastian VS Yshrael Pascaul

Song: Katy Perry – Firework

Quality: 4/10

Who Won: Chris Sebastian

Who Should Have:  Chris Sebastian

Notes: Delta was SPOT ON, the song choice was appalling, as were their performances. The fact that it was the last battle of the night, left me feeling like I’d just walked out of Requiem For A Dream – The Musical.

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The Battle Rounds kicked off last night and proved that The Voice contains one of the most innovative reality TV show formats in years, with certain contestants shining. In case you missed it, here’s what happened…

 

Chris Ninni VS Ben Hazlewood. 

Song: Paramore – The Only Exeception.

Quality: 8/10.

Who won: Ben Hazlewood.

Who Should Have: Ben Hazlewood

Notes: There were a few dodgy high notes but an exhilarating start to the battle rounds. Ben and Chris both showed solid improvements since their auditions. The final note by Ben Hazlewood was better than three seasons of Idol combined.

 

Diana Rouvas VS. Jaz Flowers 

Song: Kelly Clarkson – Mr. Know It All

Quality: 7/10

Who Won: Diana Rouvas

Who Should Have: Diana Rouvas

Notes: Diana Rouvas was the considerable underdog, but Jaz Flowers’ determination to hit high notes ruined her consistency.

 

Fatai Veamatahau VS Mitchell Thompson

Song: Eminem & Rihanna – Love The Way You Lie

Quality: 6/10

Who Won: Fatai Veamatahau.

Who Should Have: Either – it was 50/50.

Notes: As desperately as Seal paraded it as something special, it wasn’t. Mitchell had the voice control, yet Fatai sparked more emotion. The correct decision was made.

 

Abbie Cardwell VS Adam Martin 

Song: The Fray – Heartbeat

Quality: 5/10

Who Won: Adam Martin

Who Should Have: Abbie Cardwell

Notes: The Battle Round was never going to suit Abbie Cardwell. She comes across more acoustic, along the lines of Angus & Julia Stone, but fared well considering. Seal was spot on when he said that the connection wasn’t there, but Abbie showed way more potential in her audition.

 

Glenn Cunningham VS Matty Chaps

Song: Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger

Quality: 7/10

Who Won: Glenn Cunningham

Who Should Have: Glenn Cunningham

Notes: Even though it started off shaky, Glenn had more energy and an urgency to win. Love the drama of going to the judge’s assistant, who offered absolutely NOTHING in the opinion department.

 

Karise Eden VS Paula Parore

Song: Amy Winehouse – Back To Black

Quality: 9/10

Who Won: Karise Eden

Who Should Have: Karise Eden

Notes: Given Karise’s audition and the song choice, this was the most one sided battle since Ricki Lee took on not eating and won. Karise was absolutely amazing, massive contender for this whole thing.

 

Rachael Leahcar VS Adam Hoek

Song: Judy Garland – Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Quality: 8/10

Who Won: Rachael Leahcar

Who Should Have: Rachael Leahcar

Notes: The song was essentially chosen for Rachael Leahcar. It couldn’t have been closer to La Vie En Rose. Poor Adam Hoek, it could have been called “Somewhere Over Your Dead Body Will We Ever Hear About You Again…”

 

Prinnie Stevens VS Mahalia Barnes 

Song: Soft Cell – Tainted Love

Quality: 8/10

Who Won: Prinnie Stevens

Who Should Have: Prinnie Stevens

Notes: Terrible song choice, yet still the show of the night. Prinnie Stevens nailed it and came across as Australia’s answer to Beyonce. I thought Mahalia Barnes’ audition was nothing like the media suggested.

The strongest three so far are Rachael Leahcar, Prinnie Stevens and Ben Hazlewood. The next Battle Round is at 8pm tonight.

 

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